When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so
I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
like it.
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman.
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.
Monday, June 8, 2009
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